I had a meltdown today. A gasping -for-breath, can’t-get-my-words out, trying-not-to-flat-out-sob, meltdown. Yes, in school. At the end of a team planning meeting in which we found out that we’ve been loaded down with more unnecessary, unrealistic work. I was angry. I tried not to complain, but I was so mad. In my head, I was screaming, “You want us to do what?! When the hell are we supposed to do it??“ At the end of the meeting, some of us did complain, and then I made a comment about how stressed out I was. Then I said I’ve been crying a lot lately, and that’s when the tears started. Then everyone tried to comfort me, which made it worse. Because I’m not the only one stressed out. We all are. We all feel exactly the same way. I lost it at school. Others lose it in the car or making dinner or taking a shower or simply waking up in the morning. We are all completely and utterly overwhelmed.
The worst part is, it’s only the beginning. Everything everyone says is that it only gets worse from here on out. “Oh you think you’re stressed out now? Just wait.”
You’re right. At the end of the day I got a notice that my observation window opens up next week. That means my supervisor could walk into my room at any time in the next two weeks for my formal forty-five minute evaluation.
Good-bye weekend camping trip. Hello week two of no social interactions.
